Discovering your Child’s Interests through the Art of Attentive Listening

Have you ever witnessed a person being asked what they are interested in and watched them struggle for an answer? Some people have never really asked themselves what captures and holds their interest. Interest is a precursor to passion and enthusiasm that can lead to new skills, new ideas and new accomplishments. Identifying a child with disabilities’ interests can provide parents, therapists, teachers and family with a tool to help that child achieve more than anyone ever thought possible.

Sometimes parents need to become detectives when it comes to zeroing in on their child’s interest. This is where the act of listening comes in. According to Dr. Paul C. Holinger, M.D., M.P.H., a psychiatrist, child psychoanalyst and author, “Listening to and validating what the child is interested in pays huge dividends throughout the child’s life. If the child is made aware that his/her interests are important, the child then can more clearly identify genuine likes and dislikes, leading more readily to choices …”

According to Ellen Metrick, Chief Toy Evaluator at AblePlay, a website that promotes toys and play for children with special needs, “Parents need to take time to discover their child’s interests. Once they have done that, they now have a way to motivate their child to expand their abilities and skills. Providing a child with toys and play products aligned with their interests is a great way to use the play experience to initiate learning, growing and developing.”

Metrick offers parents a quick list to jump start their listening skills in order to discover the unique interests and likes of their kid. Here they are:

Seven Suggestions for Active Listening:

1. Create time and space to listen (minimize distractions; take advantage of time right before bed or on a long car ride. Some kids talk more in the car because driving puts them at ease.)

2. Focus, focus, focus

a. Focus your eyes on your child when listening (not when driving of course)
b. Focus your body (lean forward to show interest)
c. Give non-verbal cues ( nods and smiles are great ways to encourage kids)
d. Give verbal cues (“yes,” “ I like that,” “how fun,” can help fuel conversation)

3. Give feedback to clarify (“So you are telling me ….”)

4. Ask questions

5. Wait for it (Don’t be afraid to sit with the silence while your child is forming thoughts)

6. Don’t judge (just listen and hear your child out, if you turn this into your lecture, kids will stop telling you things.)

7. Model listening by showing your child your listening skills. (Kids learn from example more than any other way)

Develop your parental listening skills and use them to discover your child’s interests. As psychologist Silvan Tomkins points out, “It is interest which is primary. Interest supports both what is necessary for life and what is possible.”

Take the time to discover your child’s interests and select toys that align with what you find. Interest leads to passion and when a kid has a passion for something, he or she can expanded all possibilities.

AblePlay is a website at www.ableplay.org that researches, rates and reviews current toys for children with special needs. AblePlay is part of the nonprofit National Lekotek Center, the leading authority on play for children with disabilities www.lekotek.org.

National Lekotek Center
2001 N. Clybourn Ave
Chicago, IL 60614
Press Contact: Raiko Mendoza, Director of Business Development
Phone: 773.528.5766 x 401
Fax: 773.537.2992
Web: http://www.ableplay.org

This release was published on openPR.